when you're not making traction
.... or it's not happening fast enough
All we need to do is check your focus.
Naturally when you're working on a goal, there's going to be a gap between where you are right now and where you want to be.
There's also the difference between where you are right now and where you started.
This month I'm breaking these two measurements down and talking about the research-proven ways to help your brain get unstuck so you can start making the traction you're craving.
The first thing we want to do is check in - how does where you want to be feel right now?
Maybe it’s feeling impossible and far away.
Maybe you’re feeling frustrated that it hasn’t happened yet.
Usually when we’re not seeing traction, it’s because the gap between where you are and where you want to be - aka the Gap - feels too big.
Sometimes it feels unsurmountable. That’s okay. It just means your brain is in disbelief (which by the way is always the first step - and means that you can still get what you want, we just need to get your brain on board).
So instead of getting frustrated by the Gap, let’s play with possibility for a second. What if it were possible? What if what you want is closer than you think? Why do you want what you’re craving? What will be different once you get there? How will it feel to have what you want?
Imagine you’ve already made it to your goal. Sit in it and feel it in your body now.
Does your chest feel warm? Maybe your shoulders feel lighter.
If it doesn’t feel good, notice that. Why do you think that is? Do you think you’ll have to give something up in order to have what you want? We’ll touch on this another time, but if your goal doesn’t feel good, that could be a sign of blockers in your way that we can work through. If you want help with these, sign up for a free consult and we can work through them together.
Okay so you’ve looked at where you’re going and why. That’s step one.
Doing this for your brain is a proven way to boost motivation and perseverance and it’s one of the easiest ways to help your brain feel safe around your goal. Your brain doesn’t know the difference between past, present and future so the more you can play with how it’ll feel to have what you want, the more you normalize it for your brain. Michael Phelps is a huge proponent of this research - he was connecting to being on the podium long before he ever made it to the Olympics.
Step two is focusing on the Gain.
If the Gap is the difference between where you are right now and where you want to be, the Gain is the difference between where you are right now and where you started.
So we want to focus on the Gain - which is how far you’ve come.
There’s so much research on how your brain gets stuck and overwhelmed by the Gap and doesn’t remember to celebrate the Gain. Our brains were primed to be negative and look out for threats - which means they hate change and often fight against going after your goals.
Celebrating your wins is one the fastest ways to help your brain feel safe to stay in creativity and positivity - two things that accelerate your growth. Dan Sullivan wrote an amazing book on the topic if you want to learn more called the Gap and the Gain.
But here are the cliff notes to get going-
How far have you come? Where did you start? How much have you grown in the past day? Past week? Quarter? Year? How much has changed in the past 3 years? 5 years? 10 years?
Give yourself credit for all you’ve done, all you’ve become.
You’ve never been closer than you are right now to the things you want.
Your brain needs you to celebrate that. Reward yourself for that.
That’s how you check your focus - connect to where you’re going and acknowledge and celebrate your gains.
When you do that, you help your brain feel more comfortable with your goals. You’re moving your brain out of that disbelief.
Disbelief is one of the main contributors to burnout. It demotivates you and leaves you stuck in the stress cycle. So breaking through it by checking your focus is the third pillar in the burnout protocol. This is what we do in coaching so you can be, do and have what you want.
