success isn't linear

Success isn't linear. Confidence isn't either.

It actually happens in four steps. Commitment. Courage. Capability. Confidence.

I remember when I committed to getting a job in human resources. It had been almost a year since I'd been let go, 2 weeks before my wedding. That was huge blow to my ego and a shock to my system. More about that another time.

I took the first job offer I got even though I knew right away it wasn't a great fit. But it helped me realize - it was up to me to create my life. I got to choose - did I want to stay in this role? Or did I want to do something more? So I started asking myself the hard questions. And I finally narrowed it down to HR or becoming a coach.

I decided to commit to try HR first. As a part of that commitment, I signed up for LinkedIn Premium, which at the time had a 30 day free trial period. I made it my goal to get a job before I'd have to start paying for the upgrade. And I decided to only apply to jobs that I really wanted, committing to going all in on them - tailored resume, specific cover letter and reaching out to the hiring manager or recruiter. I was optimistic and eager - this is how you know you're in the commitment phase.

But it took courage. I reached out to people in HR that I thought had cool jobs. I asked them to do a 30 minute curiosity conversation with me, so I could hear about their job and life. It was out of my comfort zone at first. Not everyone responded. Not everyone said yes. Some conversations were harder or more awkward than others. The doubt creeped in. But I kept going. I read books, took courses. I immersed myself in HR. I made mistakes and had to adjust. I questioned myself and my commitment. That's what the courage phase is all about.

And then I started feeling capable. I started owning that I would be really good in HR. I was learning the lingo, growing my network. Things were clicking into place. I knew I still had a lot to learn but I felt much stronger now. I knew I had value to add and my HR foundation was growing. Sometimes I was tentative, but I kept looking for all of the ways that it was working - and this is what defines the capability phase.

Finally I was interviewing and getting call-backs. And then I got a job offer while with my family in Disney World. No joke. My confidence was growing now. I was inspired and knew I could do this. Success happens where the confidence is. That self-assured, "I got this" confidence is what defines this phase.

It had been 27 days since I committed to my goal. And that commitment made all the difference.

Sometimes we forget that we need that commitment phase - that we need to decide to stick with it. Or we forget that there's that spot of courage in the middle. That naturally our excitement about the goal and our positive outlook decrease. But they do. That's part of being human. We just have to keep going.

Our confidence graph, our success graph, will look like this: